Butt Hurt For Life
I'm feeling a little sassy and I want to bitch about something for a minute so if you're looking for unicorns and rainbows go elsewhere.
Over the weekend Kelly and I went to a party for one of his friends. The shindig was WASPy all the way and despite the fact that I didn't have offspring, a rock on my finger or an opinion about private schools on the Westside I mixed in okay. The wives were mostly nice and made a real effort to include me... except this one nasty bitch.
I noticed her noticing me from the moment she arrived. At one point Kelly and I were hugging each other and he whispered in my ear, "That woman over there keeps staring at you."
I was aware of her bizarre fixation but tried to pretend I didn't notice. After awhile she came over to talk. I turned around with drink in hand and found myself eye to eye with her. She was mostly unattractive but the type who thinks she's hotter than she really is and she said with a grating east coast accent, "So are you a parent or a kid?" Clearly my age made it difficult for her to decipher me from the tweens running around the family friendly party. Her face looked like she sucked on a lemon as she waited for me to answer.
"Uh, I'm neither. I'm a girlfriend," I responded feeling pretty bizarre that I dignified this retarded question with an honest response. I smiled meekly and said, "Thanks for the compliment though! You're good for my ego." Giggle, giggle as Rat Face gave me the stink eye. I fled worried her ugly, bitter energy would rub off on me.
A little later she found me again and launched into the questions. I couldn't really understand what this women wanted with me but I could guess her intentions weren't all that innocent. She came off like one of those bitter forty something types who are really uncomfortable with other women, specifically younger women. I dodged her questions and kept trying to turn the conversation back to her. I played the part of interested interviewer as I asked about her life, her work (acting coach of course) and where she's lived over the years. The conversation was stifled and awkward and I couldn't wait for Rat Face to run away. Thankfully the whole thing lasted about four minutes until she apparently got what she needed and scurried back to the wives.
Towards the end of the night the hostess came up to me.
"Are you having fun? Has everyone been nice?" she asked.
I smiled, "Everyone has been really nice. They've made me feel really included. Except for one lady." Damn wine, you honesty serum you!
Her eyes widened. "Who? Who wasn't nice?" she asked.
"That lady with dark hair. She looks a little Middle Eastern or Latino..." I trailed off.
"Sharon!?! What did she say?"
I relayed the encounter to her.
"She's usually really nice. You know what though? She's the only single woman here tonight," she said as if that explained why she was a bitter bitch. It kind of did actually.
Please shoot me if I'm ever permanently butt hurt that my life doesn't look the way I planned.
That's all.
xox
Over the weekend Kelly and I went to a party for one of his friends. The shindig was WASPy all the way and despite the fact that I didn't have offspring, a rock on my finger or an opinion about private schools on the Westside I mixed in okay. The wives were mostly nice and made a real effort to include me... except this one nasty bitch.
I noticed her noticing me from the moment she arrived. At one point Kelly and I were hugging each other and he whispered in my ear, "That woman over there keeps staring at you."
I was aware of her bizarre fixation but tried to pretend I didn't notice. After awhile she came over to talk. I turned around with drink in hand and found myself eye to eye with her. She was mostly unattractive but the type who thinks she's hotter than she really is and she said with a grating east coast accent, "So are you a parent or a kid?" Clearly my age made it difficult for her to decipher me from the tweens running around the family friendly party. Her face looked like she sucked on a lemon as she waited for me to answer.
"Uh, I'm neither. I'm a girlfriend," I responded feeling pretty bizarre that I dignified this retarded question with an honest response. I smiled meekly and said, "Thanks for the compliment though! You're good for my ego." Giggle, giggle as Rat Face gave me the stink eye. I fled worried her ugly, bitter energy would rub off on me.
A little later she found me again and launched into the questions. I couldn't really understand what this women wanted with me but I could guess her intentions weren't all that innocent. She came off like one of those bitter forty something types who are really uncomfortable with other women, specifically younger women. I dodged her questions and kept trying to turn the conversation back to her. I played the part of interested interviewer as I asked about her life, her work (acting coach of course) and where she's lived over the years. The conversation was stifled and awkward and I couldn't wait for Rat Face to run away. Thankfully the whole thing lasted about four minutes until she apparently got what she needed and scurried back to the wives.
Towards the end of the night the hostess came up to me.
"Are you having fun? Has everyone been nice?" she asked.
I smiled, "Everyone has been really nice. They've made me feel really included. Except for one lady." Damn wine, you honesty serum you!
Her eyes widened. "Who? Who wasn't nice?" she asked.
"That lady with dark hair. She looks a little Middle Eastern or Latino..." I trailed off.
"Sharon!?! What did she say?"
I relayed the encounter to her.
"She's usually really nice. You know what though? She's the only single woman here tonight," she said as if that explained why she was a bitter bitch. It kind of did actually.
Please shoot me if I'm ever permanently butt hurt that my life doesn't look the way I planned.
That's all.
xox
Jealousy is an fugly bitch, sometimes she has a rat face.
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