Scrubbing Off Layers of Self-Consciousness
Moving to the big city and not having any friends really gave me the push to get out there and find fun things to do. When I first landed in LA I bought this book called Not For Tourists. It was basically my Bible. It broke down every neighborhood in LA and it provided tips on the best coffee shops, restaurants, bars, laundromats, museums and all kinds of other stuff. It also had very specific maps on every page so that getting to your destination of choice was a little less anxiety riddled. Since I had tons of time and no one to spend it with I kept my NFT book in the backseat of my car and I spent many a night and weekend discovering LA. I checked out this beautiful museum on the top of a mountain where you could see all the way to the ocean (The Getty), I took a walk up to Griffith Observatory and saw the Hollywood sign and I sat amongst the writers and the artists at this total hipster coffee shop and pretended to read while watching it all unfold, wide-eyed and excited.
One of the things I loved about going it alone was that I wasn't my usual self-conscious, awkward self. I could go enjoy the experience without worrying that the person I was with wasn't having fun. It was freeing doing whatever my heart desired. One of my adventures took me to the Korean Spa.
I had heard about the Korean spa through a friend. She said you could get a milk and honey scrub, a massage and a facial for something ridiculously cheap like a hundred bucks. I had no idea what the hell a milk and honey scrub was but I was more than willing to offer my body up for it for a benji. I took to Yelp to find out more and soon learned that the Korean spa was for ladies only... and clothing was discouraged.
Despite my progressive opinions about marriage, sex and gender, I'm actually kind of a prude about being nude. Even as an adult I still turn away from my girl friend if we're changing together, keeping my lady bits to myself. We didn't really grow up in a naked family so unless I'm between the sheets with a man I tend to be a bit shy about running around in my birthday suit. Suffice to say the idea of exposing my body in all its imperfect glory for total strangers freaked me the fuck out.
Yet the prospect of a super cheap massage/scrub/facial sounded glorious! How would I reconcile my fear of being butt ass naked in public with my deep seeded need to save a buck!?! My wallet won and I jumped in bravely.
My virgin Korean spa experience was done alone. I was nervous enough about people I'd never have to look in the face again seeing my dimples and flaws, I sure as shit wasn't ready to sit across from my bestie in the jacuzzi, our boobies blazing. The women who work at the Korean spa must be specially trained to spot newbies because she essentially took my hand and led me where I needed to go. Despite our language barrier I understood when she gestured at my shoes and then to a little box shaped locker, and put them in the cubby. Then she took me to the changing area. It was a medium sized room with long lockers on the wall not unlike at the gym. There were women all around me in various states of undress. I averted my eyes and set about taking my own clothes off. As soon as I was undressed I wrapped the soft, linen robe the color of celery around me and tied it tight. I walked towards the steamed up door and pulled it towards me. On the other side was a big square shaped room, three jacuzzi sized tubs and naked ladies of all shapes and colors walking around like it was nobody's business.
I took a deep breath as if I was nearing the edge of the high dive and stripped my robe off. My cheeks turned pink as I worried that everyone was staring at me and I rushed to the shower area to rinse off before entering the tubs. The walk from shower to jacuzzi was scary, I could feel eyes on me and I thought to myself I am living out one of my worst nightmares. I stepped into the steaming pool of water and dipped all the way down, immersed up to my chin. Ahhh. I could finally relax.
The jets created a barrier hiding my nakedness and I eased up. I looked around. There were pools of different sizes and one seemed be filled with what looked like tea. It said Mugworth and then Korean symbols underneath. There was a little description in English about the detoxifying powers of the dark colored water and I couldn't wait to try that out. There was also a steam room, a sauna, a cold pool and a big sectioned off area where the treatments were being done. Korean women dressed in black sports bras and granny panties leaned over table after table of women getting every inch of their body scrubbed clean. The spas I had been to were fancy and private and everyone wore bathing suits so this was one helluva shock. I've always kind of liked being pushed into unknown territory though so I really started to chill and have fun.
I spent a few minutes in each pool, alternating between hot and cold. I started noticing the other women too. Once I stopped freaking out and thinking people gave two shits about how I looked I realized how awesome it was to see the variety of shapes and sizes, cultures and ages. There were Korean grandmas and Russian mothers, tall, short, thin, fat, saggy, perky, dimpled, smooth, brown, tan and freckled. It was glorious! I spent my entire youth seeing only semi-naked bodies in Cosmo and I guess unconsciously I believed that is what women look like. In a single moment I saw variety. What was most amazing was the confidence everyone walked around with. It wasn't that anyone seemed to be inviting looks, it's that no one seemed to give a flying fuck that anyone else was nekkid. Within a few minutes I was moving between pools without a thought that someone might have been looking. And who cares really if they were? I'm imperfect and that's lovely!
When my name was called I laid down on the table. My Korean lady was short and round, shaped like an egg and ready to treat my body like a linoleum floor that needed a good cleaning. This woman went to work scrubbing every nook and cranny- it wasn't relaxing but when it was finished my skin was softer than it's ever been before. After rubbing me raw she massaged the shit out of me, covered my face in something that felt like seaweed and smelled like cucumber and kneaded my scalp until I would've done anything for her. After bossing me around with "Turn!" "Face down!" "Wash!" for an hour and a half she rinsed me down with a big bucket of warm water, wrapped me in a towel and sent me into a room with heated jade floors to relax and take a nap.
To say that I felt like a new person when this was all over would be an understatement. I had faced my fear of public nudity and even found something beautiful in being imperfect. I shed layers of skin I must have had since high school. And I spent some time with me, something I was increasingly learning to love.
Since my first trip to the Korean spa I have been back many times. I've taken best friends and sisters and now when I get inside the doors I can't wait to strip off my clothes and go running for the Mugworth bath. It's kind of odd to think that a place of cleansing and pampering could free me from my self-consciousness, but that's exactly what happened. Getting out of my comfort zone made me grow a little bit. What a wonderful thing.
One of the things I loved about going it alone was that I wasn't my usual self-conscious, awkward self. I could go enjoy the experience without worrying that the person I was with wasn't having fun. It was freeing doing whatever my heart desired. One of my adventures took me to the Korean Spa.
I had heard about the Korean spa through a friend. She said you could get a milk and honey scrub, a massage and a facial for something ridiculously cheap like a hundred bucks. I had no idea what the hell a milk and honey scrub was but I was more than willing to offer my body up for it for a benji. I took to Yelp to find out more and soon learned that the Korean spa was for ladies only... and clothing was discouraged.
Despite my progressive opinions about marriage, sex and gender, I'm actually kind of a prude about being nude. Even as an adult I still turn away from my girl friend if we're changing together, keeping my lady bits to myself. We didn't really grow up in a naked family so unless I'm between the sheets with a man I tend to be a bit shy about running around in my birthday suit. Suffice to say the idea of exposing my body in all its imperfect glory for total strangers freaked me the fuck out.
Yet the prospect of a super cheap massage/scrub/facial sounded glorious! How would I reconcile my fear of being butt ass naked in public with my deep seeded need to save a buck!?! My wallet won and I jumped in bravely.
My virgin Korean spa experience was done alone. I was nervous enough about people I'd never have to look in the face again seeing my dimples and flaws, I sure as shit wasn't ready to sit across from my bestie in the jacuzzi, our boobies blazing. The women who work at the Korean spa must be specially trained to spot newbies because she essentially took my hand and led me where I needed to go. Despite our language barrier I understood when she gestured at my shoes and then to a little box shaped locker, and put them in the cubby. Then she took me to the changing area. It was a medium sized room with long lockers on the wall not unlike at the gym. There were women all around me in various states of undress. I averted my eyes and set about taking my own clothes off. As soon as I was undressed I wrapped the soft, linen robe the color of celery around me and tied it tight. I walked towards the steamed up door and pulled it towards me. On the other side was a big square shaped room, three jacuzzi sized tubs and naked ladies of all shapes and colors walking around like it was nobody's business.
I took a deep breath as if I was nearing the edge of the high dive and stripped my robe off. My cheeks turned pink as I worried that everyone was staring at me and I rushed to the shower area to rinse off before entering the tubs. The walk from shower to jacuzzi was scary, I could feel eyes on me and I thought to myself I am living out one of my worst nightmares. I stepped into the steaming pool of water and dipped all the way down, immersed up to my chin. Ahhh. I could finally relax.
The jets created a barrier hiding my nakedness and I eased up. I looked around. There were pools of different sizes and one seemed be filled with what looked like tea. It said Mugworth and then Korean symbols underneath. There was a little description in English about the detoxifying powers of the dark colored water and I couldn't wait to try that out. There was also a steam room, a sauna, a cold pool and a big sectioned off area where the treatments were being done. Korean women dressed in black sports bras and granny panties leaned over table after table of women getting every inch of their body scrubbed clean. The spas I had been to were fancy and private and everyone wore bathing suits so this was one helluva shock. I've always kind of liked being pushed into unknown territory though so I really started to chill and have fun.
I spent a few minutes in each pool, alternating between hot and cold. I started noticing the other women too. Once I stopped freaking out and thinking people gave two shits about how I looked I realized how awesome it was to see the variety of shapes and sizes, cultures and ages. There were Korean grandmas and Russian mothers, tall, short, thin, fat, saggy, perky, dimpled, smooth, brown, tan and freckled. It was glorious! I spent my entire youth seeing only semi-naked bodies in Cosmo and I guess unconsciously I believed that is what women look like. In a single moment I saw variety. What was most amazing was the confidence everyone walked around with. It wasn't that anyone seemed to be inviting looks, it's that no one seemed to give a flying fuck that anyone else was nekkid. Within a few minutes I was moving between pools without a thought that someone might have been looking. And who cares really if they were? I'm imperfect and that's lovely!
When my name was called I laid down on the table. My Korean lady was short and round, shaped like an egg and ready to treat my body like a linoleum floor that needed a good cleaning. This woman went to work scrubbing every nook and cranny- it wasn't relaxing but when it was finished my skin was softer than it's ever been before. After rubbing me raw she massaged the shit out of me, covered my face in something that felt like seaweed and smelled like cucumber and kneaded my scalp until I would've done anything for her. After bossing me around with "Turn!" "Face down!" "Wash!" for an hour and a half she rinsed me down with a big bucket of warm water, wrapped me in a towel and sent me into a room with heated jade floors to relax and take a nap.
To say that I felt like a new person when this was all over would be an understatement. I had faced my fear of public nudity and even found something beautiful in being imperfect. I shed layers of skin I must have had since high school. And I spent some time with me, something I was increasingly learning to love.
Since my first trip to the Korean spa I have been back many times. I've taken best friends and sisters and now when I get inside the doors I can't wait to strip off my clothes and go running for the Mugworth bath. It's kind of odd to think that a place of cleansing and pampering could free me from my self-consciousness, but that's exactly what happened. Getting out of my comfort zone made me grow a little bit. What a wonderful thing.
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