Candy and Cancer
A family friend was just diagnosed with brain cancer. She has two months to live. Her 58th birthday was yesterday.
When I was a little girl I loved eating peanut butter m&m's. I would persuade my ma to buy a little bag at the market each time we went. When we arrived home I'd curl up on my bed with my bag and tear the corner open. I would eat them one at a time, rolling the candy around in my mouth, savoring the sweetness. Each piece was a little bit of joy. Sometimes I was so wrapped up in the pleasure of the treat that I would eat the last candy without knowing it was the last one. I'd hold the bag up to my eye, squinting to see inside, disbelieving that I finished it without savoring the last one more.
Other times I would empty the bag onto my bed and line the brightly colored candies up, a parade of sweetness. Again, I would eat them one by one. But each time another treat disappeared into my mouth I felt a little sad knowing I was getting closer to the end. I could see just how few I had left. I wanted them to last forever.
Death can be scary. We don't really know for sure what awaits us after that final breath. Are we better off knowing how few days we have left?
When I was a little girl I loved eating peanut butter m&m's. I would persuade my ma to buy a little bag at the market each time we went. When we arrived home I'd curl up on my bed with my bag and tear the corner open. I would eat them one at a time, rolling the candy around in my mouth, savoring the sweetness. Each piece was a little bit of joy. Sometimes I was so wrapped up in the pleasure of the treat that I would eat the last candy without knowing it was the last one. I'd hold the bag up to my eye, squinting to see inside, disbelieving that I finished it without savoring the last one more.
Other times I would empty the bag onto my bed and line the brightly colored candies up, a parade of sweetness. Again, I would eat them one by one. But each time another treat disappeared into my mouth I felt a little sad knowing I was getting closer to the end. I could see just how few I had left. I wanted them to last forever.
Death can be scary. We don't really know for sure what awaits us after that final breath. Are we better off knowing how few days we have left?
I have been asking myself this since friday when dad told me...I still don't have an answer.
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