Chemical Peel Day 1 or How I Burned My Face Off
Working in the beauty field means easy access to the latest and greatest methods for looking young. This stuff is my crack actually. Don't get me wrong- I do understand that aging is an inevitability and doing it with grace is more about what's going on beneath the surface of your skin... but if having a professional wipe acid on my face is going to give me a nice, pre-pube glow I'm all for it! Which is exactly what happened yesterday.
Our esthetician, Kerry, had been hearing a lot about a new treatment- the V Peel- and arranged to have the rep come to our office yesterday for a demo. A few hours beforehand she asked if I'd like to have the peel done on me.
"What does it do?" I asked already halfway convinced to do it regardless of it's benefits. If it's being sold to the general public it must be safe right? Ha.
"It's going to give you a glow. And probably clear up some of your acne," she said as I thought, I have acne? Nice. Now I feel like a pimply faced, teenaged boy. V-peel I'm yours.
Suffice to say I knew very little about what I was getting into when I offered my face up to this rep aka The Sadist.
I laid down in the exam chair as the rep, Kerry and Dr. D. gathered around me. I felt a lot like I'd been abducted by aliens as the trio stared at the places on my face most in need of the peel and the rep described how it would work. Being a volunteer for something like this means mostly leaving your ego at the door as the ugly parts of your face are pointed out for an audience.
"See these lines around her eyes?" she asked as they both nodded their heads enthusiastically. "We're going to make sure we use the peel on those. Oh! And these areas of breakouts too- we'll focus on those! And then see this hyperpigmentation here on her cheek? These are old acne breakouts right?" she asks me. I blink twice before she forges forward in her excited appraisal of my face. "We'll target that too!" she finishes sounding a lot like a mad scientist.
And then she begins applying the acid.
"You might want to hold this pamphlet and when it gets warm just start fanning yourself okay? But don't do it too soon. I want the doctor and Kerry to see how painless it is. So don't use it unless you have to okay?" she says chirpily. I nod as I feel my face starting to melt.
She goes about describing the five types of acids comprised of the peel and explaining it's benefits as she wipes, wipes, wipes this chemical concoction all over my skin. The heat radiating from my face feels a lot like a long day in the sun... in Death Valley. Yet even despite the burning sensation my mind is still fixed on the glowing, pretty skin I'll have when this is all over... in five to seven days. What???
"Yeah, so tonight you'll just look a little pink. Tomorrow you'll look like you have a sunburn. And then days three, four and five you'll have some serious peeling. You're basically going to shed a layer of your face," she said or something like this because at that point my mind was racing thinking of what I had to do in the next week that involved seeing people. Oh I'm sure it won't be that bad. She's probably just exaggerating so I'm prepared for the worse. I think... foolishly.
As she's finishing up she launches into the do's and don'ts. Standard stuff like use a gentle cleanser, tons of sunscreen, no picking at the peeling skin, no kissing for the next four hours- what the fuck!?!
"Oh yeah, well you don't want to kiss anyone for the next four hours because the acid could be transferred to their skin," she explains as I wonder why it's okay for my face but not for theirs. I am now secretly hating this woman as the prospect of not being able to kiss K when I get home makes me butt hurt. Whatevs.
"Oh and no working out for the next forty eight hours. The sweat might irritate the skin," she says. And just like that I like her again- I'm always looking for excuses to avoid the gym.
Hours later K and I are at Ikea buying furniture for the kids and my skin starts heating up. We pass a mirror and I catch a glimpse of a red faced monster. Ick! That woman is grotesque! I think like the judgemental bitch I can be. And then I realize that woman is me.
I better look thirteen when this shit is all over.
Our esthetician, Kerry, had been hearing a lot about a new treatment- the V Peel- and arranged to have the rep come to our office yesterday for a demo. A few hours beforehand she asked if I'd like to have the peel done on me.
"What does it do?" I asked already halfway convinced to do it regardless of it's benefits. If it's being sold to the general public it must be safe right? Ha.
"It's going to give you a glow. And probably clear up some of your acne," she said as I thought, I have acne? Nice. Now I feel like a pimply faced, teenaged boy. V-peel I'm yours.
Suffice to say I knew very little about what I was getting into when I offered my face up to this rep aka The Sadist.
I laid down in the exam chair as the rep, Kerry and Dr. D. gathered around me. I felt a lot like I'd been abducted by aliens as the trio stared at the places on my face most in need of the peel and the rep described how it would work. Being a volunteer for something like this means mostly leaving your ego at the door as the ugly parts of your face are pointed out for an audience.
"See these lines around her eyes?" she asked as they both nodded their heads enthusiastically. "We're going to make sure we use the peel on those. Oh! And these areas of breakouts too- we'll focus on those! And then see this hyperpigmentation here on her cheek? These are old acne breakouts right?" she asks me. I blink twice before she forges forward in her excited appraisal of my face. "We'll target that too!" she finishes sounding a lot like a mad scientist.
And then she begins applying the acid.
"You might want to hold this pamphlet and when it gets warm just start fanning yourself okay? But don't do it too soon. I want the doctor and Kerry to see how painless it is. So don't use it unless you have to okay?" she says chirpily. I nod as I feel my face starting to melt.
She goes about describing the five types of acids comprised of the peel and explaining it's benefits as she wipes, wipes, wipes this chemical concoction all over my skin. The heat radiating from my face feels a lot like a long day in the sun... in Death Valley. Yet even despite the burning sensation my mind is still fixed on the glowing, pretty skin I'll have when this is all over... in five to seven days. What???
"Yeah, so tonight you'll just look a little pink. Tomorrow you'll look like you have a sunburn. And then days three, four and five you'll have some serious peeling. You're basically going to shed a layer of your face," she said or something like this because at that point my mind was racing thinking of what I had to do in the next week that involved seeing people. Oh I'm sure it won't be that bad. She's probably just exaggerating so I'm prepared for the worse. I think... foolishly.
As she's finishing up she launches into the do's and don'ts. Standard stuff like use a gentle cleanser, tons of sunscreen, no picking at the peeling skin, no kissing for the next four hours- what the fuck!?!
"Oh yeah, well you don't want to kiss anyone for the next four hours because the acid could be transferred to their skin," she explains as I wonder why it's okay for my face but not for theirs. I am now secretly hating this woman as the prospect of not being able to kiss K when I get home makes me butt hurt. Whatevs.
"Oh and no working out for the next forty eight hours. The sweat might irritate the skin," she says. And just like that I like her again- I'm always looking for excuses to avoid the gym.
Hours later K and I are at Ikea buying furniture for the kids and my skin starts heating up. We pass a mirror and I catch a glimpse of a red faced monster. Ick! That woman is grotesque! I think like the judgemental bitch I can be. And then I realize that woman is me.
I better look thirteen when this shit is all over.
I don't care if they told me my face would fall off and I would grow another one, I would so do this. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI am laughing so hard right now, but I think I would totally do it too!!
ReplyDelete